So today I had an experience with fasting. I have fasted several times in my life and for up to 3 days at a time (nothing compared to others). Usually it is for health reasons/cleansing and ends up having a little bit of a spiritual experience. However, today was because of a very odd and kind of embarrassing reason… A few days ago I was eating a really REALLY crispy piece of toast. So crispy, if fact, that as it crumbled in my mouth little pieces got under my tongue and cut up the tissue just below my teeth and to the back. It actually hurt really bad, but I thought nothing of it. Then, as each day went by, I noticed my mouth getting more sore until my right gland in my throat was swollen and it hurt to swallow. All because of a piece of toast… lame.
Well, it wasn’t healing and getting better because (amazingly enough) I keep eating! So, I did a short fast to let it heal. 15 hours (8 hours were sleeping). Then, after eating again… it still hurt. So I fasted for a mere 4 more hours. However, both times of fasting were incredibly challenging for me. I kept thinking, “I have a nursing baby! And he woke me up three times last night! [very out-of-the-norm… teething] I DESERVE food!!”. Then my thoughts proceeded as follows:
“I am so hungry. Oh my gosh I just want to eat. Oh, eggs and cheese and leftover pancakes, and milk, and honey and yogurt and bananas, and a smoothie sound SO good. I am so hungry. And tired. My stomach is growling. This sucks. I hate this. I NEED food. But I want my mouth to stop hurting. I’m so hungry.”
Ok, so now you get to see how pathetic I am sometimes. Well, all of a sudden the Spirit within me said, “STOP. You are ok. You are taken care of. Think of those who feel this EVERYDAY.” Whoa. I just read a very sad fact the other day that said every 4 seconds a child dies of hunger. (This story could totally go under my “Humble” post). Instantly my hunger pain was gone and replaced with a sick feeling. I am here having a pity party for myself over barely half a day without food and plenty of “meat” on my bones and there are sweet little babes all over the world actually dying because they are hungry.
Not to put a damper on things, but this was a great realization for me to be thankful for what I have and even thankful for what I don’t have. Because I do not have starvation. I do not have a hungry, starving baby. I do not have a lack of food. I do not have to fight to live each day.
I also had a friend say to me today, “There is a lack because we say there is a lack.” The more I thought about this the more it makes sense. We are creating our own realities everyday. Fear is driving us. Don’t let it! People, belief is so much more powerful than we realize sometimes. Start living as though there is enough, and there will be. Just try it. What a more peaceful and loving life that would create. Fear is the root of our suffering. Don’t let it win. It can’t win. Because, LOVE WINS. Every time. Period.